Face of Death!

This article is part 1 of  Stop A Suicide

As told by a Ahmedabadi friend!

My life was cool. No worry! I was a visiting faculty at a local college. I was having many friends. It was a big group. I was a regular visitor to a Hukka Bar. I easily made many friends there as people used to get amused with the idea of being with an academic person in a funky Hukka Bar.

It led to me spending a lot of money. I was hooked to that place. It was in 2009. Time changed. I lost my girlfriend. She died in an accident at Dadar railway station. Same time, my family started having lot of financial problem. It impacted my ability to enjoy with my friends. As i was habituated to splurging money, i started facing financial crunch. I was also involved in match betting. Some friend suggested to get some money from a money lender. I thought 10k is a small amount and 10% interest rate will not be difficult to pay. But, even after paying 6k, the principal amount of 10k was still payable after 5 months. Financial problem had increased and i was finding readily available money lenders. It started a whirlpool action. I started taking money from one money lender to pay money to another money lender. The chain reaction was very destructive. Before i could realize, payable amount reached to 1.5 lakh. Money lenders started coming home. My family was disturbed and some friends gave oil to the fire by telling about some of my bad habits. It reached to a stage where my religious father asked me to get out of the house. I started living with my friend at Bopal.

I was very depressed. I was very upset about my family and some of my close friends. They duped me when i needed their support. I was getting all kinds of negative ideas. I started living a lonely life. I avoided talking with anyone. I even went to psychiatric for about 25-30 times.

One day, i was crying in my bathtub. I always cry in the bathroom. I tried to suicide by using a sharp instrument to cut through my thigh. It was bloody painful. But, it was like my mind was having only one thought that there is no more reason to continue my life. I was ready to end it. I wanted freedom from all anguish. When i was bleeding, i got a call from one of my best friends. I did not picked the call. But, that sound of phone ring distracted me and faces of people who have really been meaningful in my life started coming in my mind. It was as if they were stopping me. I drunk lot of alcohol. I had started feeling lot of pain in my thigh. Cut was so deep that white part below the skin was visible and everything was becoming red now. I was so drunk that i slept like that. In the morning when i woke up i realized that i tried to take my life. If there was no phone call, i would have continued cutting through my thigh and died of excess bleeding. I wanted a painful death out of frustration. I again tried to suicide by drinking a bottle of ink, but i was unaware that it was not poisonous. I got a call from my best friend Deval; who invited me for dinner that night. I could not say "no" and while talking to him i opened my heart and shared everything about the building up of frustration and outcome in the form of 2 failed suicide attempts. My best friend was horrified and angry. But, his lecture was the most wonderful thing that could happen to me. I was inspired by his words and decided that i will change myself. I realized that how foolish i was to attempt suicide when i am so educated and talented that i could use my positive energy to use for the society.

Things took a "U" turn. From the next day, i started my life again from scratch. It was my life. I will not take the circumstance take control of me. My best friend had opened my eye. I hope everyone should have at least one such friend. Sometimes, i think if i would not have met him that night and shared my grief and frustration, i would have died disregarding GOD who gifted me such a precious life. That would have effected my family also. Though they threw me out, but their love is never ending .

Now, i live a normal and peaceful life with my family. They love me. I am doing a respectable job in a large organization. I also participate in different social work. I am sure my story will stop people from falling into cruel hands of money lenders. Don't ever dare to enter their dirty world. Suicide can never be a solution. Life is precious. SO LOVE YOUR LIFE...LOVE YOUR FAMILY....